How Do You Gauge Success?

Ask most people what they want in life and they will tell you that they wish to be happy, loved, and successful. Many people want these same things for their children. Ask them how they define happiness, love, and success, and you may get a few different answers. To some, happiness is determined by where one lives, the material items they possess, ability to travel, experience leisure activities, and entertainment.  Love is often equated with being married or in a relationship with a so-called soul mate and surrounded by family and friends that care for and support us. Success is also gauged in a variety of ways. Too often success is defined by the amount of money one makes, societal status, careers, and popularity. 

It seems as though our society is obsessed with being successful and happy. There are hundreds of self-help books that offer the keys to unlocking our potential and finding true happiness. Then there are the motivational speakers preaching prosperity through personal gain. So much of what we are being told and sold is about self-love, self-care, and self-motivation. These ways of thinking and living in such self-absorbed and self-centered ways has brought us to our current state of discontentment. 

Instead of focusing inward at our own problems and unhappiness, shift that focus onto others. There are multiple ways to give of yourself.  Volunteer your time at senior homes, hospitals, childcare centers, jails, teaching adults to read, food banks, schools, community gardens, homeless shelters, or churches. Donate money, food, clothing, or other goods. Try connecting with family, friends, or those that are alone or have personal struggles. 

I believe that we can  all find ways to help people in our lives by giving whatever we can. Giving does not have to be these grand gestures done publicly. Our focus should be on bringing joy to the people surrounding us on a daily basis through very small acts. Laugh with the people in our homes. Have conversations with neighbors or people we encounter in the streets.  Provide support to coworkers you know are struggling in some areas. Write letters to old friends. Call family members that live far away. Tell the people you love just how much you love and care for them. Invite friends to go for walks together. Offer to prepare meals for new mothers or elderly folks. Most of all, recognize when others may have needs and ask if there is anything that you can do to help. Be present for people, be compassionate, listen, and provide nonjudgmental support. 

This is how I gauge my success, by how many people I have served throughout my lifetime. I am happy when I make others happy. I am content with being of service to others. I have reached a place in my life where I know that I in no way earned the amount of blessings I have received thus far.  There is nothing that I have done or could ever do that would make me deserve all that I have been given. Because I am grateful  for my life, it is my responsibility to use it to create possibilities of hope for others brought to me. I am humbled and forever thankful to be in positions to serve.

It has never been a concern of mine to please others, to be in a position of power, or in the forefront of any organization. I am not ruled by money or appearances. I never put too much thought into how I am perceived by others. I am my genuine self wherever I am and with whomever I am with. I am transparent and raw, unfiltered in every sense of the word. This is how I remain sane and content. 

My ability to love people stems from my understanding that we all have faults and that we are all human. So yes, I have love in my life because I show love. I am joyful because I have peace with who I am and aim to bring happiness to others. I am successful only when I am living this way. 

As long as we get out of our own heads and shift our focus from ourselves toward others, we can live successful lives full of love and happiness.