People Need People

 Before I ever became an educator I was called to encourage. So much of my teaching is rooted in a place of bringing hopefulness and inspiration. It does not matter whether I am working with preschool aged children or college students, the need for connection and motivation is necessary. People have a need to express themselves, to be heard, and acknowledged. By listening without judgement, we allow others to let us into their worlds where we can see who they are. In most of my experiences, people want to be heard and do not necessarily want input. We can simply validate their feelings by allowing them to express themselves and voice their truths. This is how trusting relationships are formed. By being present and open to seeing and hearing what is communicated, verbally or otherwise.

 Being observant, a good listener, and discerning, is a skill that I was born with.Throughout my life these skills have helped me avoid many dangerous people and situations, while leading me where I needed to be. (I like to refer to this as my "Spidey" senses).  A natural-born counselor, some might say. It is simply that I understand how it feels to be muted. Too many of us are raised without voices. No one ever asks us how we feel or think about anything. We were never allowed to show emotions or express our thoughts or feelings without ridicule. In my case, this taught me that my feelings were unimportant and a sign of weakness. 

This is the reason that it is important to allow others to freely express themselves. It is my responsibility to provide my students with a variety of opportunities to unpack their feelings while receiving validation. While we are all unique in personalities, skill sets, needs, and ways of expressing ourselves, we all need to feel acknowledged (seen and heard), loved, valued, respected, and safe. We all deserve  to be in spaces where we can be our genuine selves and feel comfortable simply by being. We have to learn that it is not what we do, produce, or contribute, that makes us worthy. We are worthy just by existing.   

Genuineness connects us as humans, imperfections and all. We can develop reciprocal relationships by sharing parts of ourselves without fearing vulnerability. There are far too many filtered lives being portrayed on social media and the public. We need to remain raw in who we are as individuals and not put photo shopped versions of ourselves on display. What message does this send to the world? That we are not good enough as we are and that our lives should only consist of ups minus the downs. 

The truth is that I have learned so much more from my adversities than I ever could from my successes. For example, my negative school experiences made me become the educator I am today.  My struggles have proven to be my best lessons for others to learn from. Our testimonies can be powerful tools if we choose to share them. Create spaces for others to share who they are with one another while including yourself. We should not be mere observers, but also participants. Through the process of helping others heal in the spaces we create, we in turn heal ourselves. 

 I have always felt the importance of connecting with people on multiple levels. Since childhood, I was that person in the street, at bus stops, in stores, parks, and at school, that attracted attention from random strangers in search of conversation. It is as though I have a literal magnetic personality. I believe that our spirits are always communicating and connecting in the spiritual realm and that certain spirits gravitate towards one another. Our spirits know what we need and try to lead us toward those things. It is just that we do not often listen to these promptings. You may think it odd to believe this; however, I have always known this to be true within my spirit.  

 As I reflect on the beginning of the new school year I am reminded over and over again of the importance of human connection. Technology is a powerful tool in connecting people visually and socially, but it also creates a barrier between physical, spiritual, and authentic human connectivity. As an educator, I have always maintained a very minimal use of technology in my classrooms. Now that all classrooms are conducted online, I am seeing the effects that human disconnection has on all of us, young and old. I hope we pay attention to the consequences of our current practices and create equitable learning experiences and opportunities for all students.  People need people.